I want to ask you this question: for every important person you value in your life, how valued do you feel in theirs?
Each year the emphasis for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is to recognise that person by way of celebration that means something to the two of you. Yes it’s extremely commercial, but if you stepped back and looked at the greater meaning behind recognising the value of your love and relationships – what would you see?
I abhor a grand gesture – and Valentine’s Day is the grand daddy of them all. I really believe that if you only feel valued a few times a year on specific days that are branded commercially to force the people in your life to stop and pay attention to how they feel about you, then you don’t and can’t see the real value that those people place on you.
Their love and value for you should not just be on display at key times – it should be there every day for you to recognise. And their value of you is not necessarily a reflection of how you value yourself. But if you keep waiting for that person to value you, and you feel they don’t, it will invariably start to have an effect on you.
Anthony Robbins said, “Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.”
So stop and ask yourself if you feel valued in your relationships – if there’s definite give from your partner, family, friends, work colleagues or others.
1. If you do feel valued – great; return the feeling and value the people in your life.
2. If you don’t feel valued, express it; you need to share how you feel in order to give them the chance to recognise and validate your value.
3. If you are not feeling valued, express it and if you still don’t feel valued by them; you need to reassess and make sure your “value” is measured and appreciated by perhaps taking it elsewhere.
When you feel valued and respected every day, not only do you feel important, you feel your contribution to the people, situations and events in your life have the capacity to bring change, growth, development and love to your broader community, not just yourself.
Make sure you feel valued and respected. It starts like the beat of a butterfly wing with you and has a ripple-on effect of a beautiful breeze that enriches your broader community and life.